White Christmas

MOVIE:  White Christmas

NUTSHELL:  Post-post-war tale of Army buddies uber alles wherein two successful song and dance men bail out their beloved former General when his Vermont ski lodge is about to go under due to lack of snow.

GOOD THINGS:  Funny stuff and some nice dancing, Danny Kaye, George Clooney’s aunt, Vera Ellen, crowns, gowns, ballerinas

BAD THINGS:  Grown men crying, some unbelievably gay moments (“Wow,” you will say to your companion, “That’s freaking GAY!”, more eyeliner than the Geneva Convention should allow

FEATURES:  Vera Ellen’s hypnotizing thin yet muscular thighs, men in need of bras (I’m looking at you, Earboy), beatnik jokes, nosy housekeepers, George Maharis flouncing around like a nut, Dean Jagger, Mary Wickes, train travel, a whole lot of feathers

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  I know he was a child-beating psycho and all but wow his eyes are so blue.

NOTABLE:  Warning: contains enormous skirts – I mean skirts that cover entire couches – skirts that made me fear for my life!

BEST PART:  Say what you will, men acting fey is still funny.

BEST LINE:  A guy that ugly’s got a lot of nerve having sisters.

CROWNS:  3 out of 5