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And then?  Once?  When I was riding my bike?

 

(or)

FIREBATON.COM – A CHRONOLOGY

 

The domain firebaton.com was registered in June 1999 I think. It took sort of forever to figure out how the interweb worked and even longer to get Mr. Internet on the phone so I could send him my files. There were mostly beauty queen pictures from an old AOL site and also a bio of my long lost love Eufay Scooter “James” McNeel. This explains why a movie review site is called firebaton.com. Okay, no it doesn’t.

By early 2000 I had a bunch of reviews up from the LAIFF film festival, one of which was of a film where I fell asleep. None of these films has ever been heard of again so the firebaton.com reviews remain singular documents of these films or would if anyone cared about films where Keifer Sutherland shoots apples off of Courtney Love’s head.

Then there were a bunch of reviews by a few different people with a few different levels of quality and spoileriffic-ness.

In Fall 2003, I fell into a wormhole that is sometimes referred to by scientists as “Alabama.” Mr. Internet wouldn’t return my calls and I was very busy figuring out the Waffle House, getting lost in cornfields, and losing cats on the side of the road. In very early 2004 I decided to watch all the movies that had been nominated for Academy Awards and, somewhat unsurprisingly, I quickly lost my desire to go to the movies and my will to live. (House of Sand and Fog? I ask you.) I did see some good movies that year that I otherwise wouldn’t have seen but I also sat through an animated movie where a young Native American transfigures into a bear and Last Samurai. Please do not ever bring up Last Samurai. Thanks. Also an annoyed director emailed me all pissy which can put you off your Mr. Pibb if you are in the wrong mood at the time.

Almost two years passed while I kept a list of movies for which I needed to write reviews. This list is now 64 movies long and I stopped adding to it maybe a year ago. I’m not sure why after nearly two years I am now allowing the peer pressure to get to me but I saw the Ringer and Memoirs of a Geisha in the same week and something popped back out. Or back in. Or something.