Y Tu Mama Tambien (guest)

MOVIE:  Y Tu Mama Tambien

GUEST:  Mike H.

NUTSHELL:  Two teenage boys take an older woman on a sexually charged road trip through Mexico.

GOOD THINGS:  Three fully-realized characters. Realistic sex for teenage boys — in other words, up, bang, done. That was a great 10 seconds. Picturesque rural Mexico travelogue.

BAD THINGS:  Gay subtext to relationship of two teen boys. They act on the gay thing when they’re both drunk as hell on Tequila. Cuaron wants us to believe (I learn later from an interview) these boys are gay and burying it because their macho culture doesn’t accept such things. In fact these boys are so blotto when they do kiss that they come off as teen boys who are so horny that if they’re drunk enough, even they’d look good to each other.

FEATURES:  No-name cast of Latinos

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  Extended shot of boys kissing while the older woman (okay, she’s 28) blows and jacks them.

NOTABLE:  Director Alfonse Cuaron called a French journalist a racist for posing an accusatory question at Cuaron, asking why Cuaron isn’t making movies about Mexico’s downtrodden poor.

BEST PART:  The dirty pool scene. And the jizz in the country club swimming pool scene.

BEST LINE:  “Come inside me. I want to take part of you with me.”

CROWNS:  4 out of 5

Monster’s Ball (guest)

MOVIE: Monster’s Ball

GUEST: Mike H.

NUTSHELL: A death row prison guard with an ultra-racist father and a troubled son falls for the widow of a prisoner he’s just executed.

GOOD THINGS: Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Did I mention Halle Berry? Billy Bob Thornton. Lean, insightful script. An informed parable for the current state of race relations in the South. A sex scene that brilliantly informs the relationship of these two lonely, troubled people.

BAD THINGS: What bad things?

FEATURES: A subtle performance by Billy Bob Thornton worthy of Academy consideration (Will Smith in Ali? Pulleeeze). An Academy Award-winning performance by Halle Berry. Say what you will about her speech, this girl earned her award.

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS: Racist Buck’s (Peter Boyle’s) one and only encounter with Leticia (Halle Berry). The writer and director WANTED us to be uncomfortable, and they succeeded beautifully.

NOTABLE: Halle Berry’s climactic scene, alone in Billy Bob’s house while he’s off buying ice cream. This movie belongs on your shelf at home next to American Beauty, the Sweet Hereafter, the Ice Storm, Dancer in the Dark, and Requiem for a Dream.

BEST PART: Buck’s come-uppance.

BEST LINE: Black nurse: “You must love your father.” Billy Bob: “No, I don’t.”

CROWNS: 5 out of 5