Star Woids (guest)

January 10, 2010 at 10:09 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE: Star Woids

GUEST: ScotWest

NUTSHELL: An intrepid documentarian chronicles the agonies, the ecstasies, and the lividity-riddled buttocks of the fans who lined up for a month waiting for tickets to “Phantom Menace.” Sort of an uber-Geek Ironman Triathalon, except it only featured one event, and that pretty much involved sitting on your ass.

GOOD THINGS: Videotaped highlights from Peninsula High School’s production of “Star Wars: The Musical.” A street person complaining that encamped geeks were taking over homeless peoples’ spots, while musing on the ouevre of George Lucas, and concluding that it suffers by comparison to the work of Stanley Kubrick. The collector who hikes into Death Valley in 120 degree heat to re-enact key scenes from Stars Wars with 6-inch action figures.

BAD THINGS: The profusion of throbbing pustules that popped out on the faces of the geeks as their vigil took a visible toll on an already tenuous committment to personal hygiene.

FEATURES: A show-stopping production number from the Mos Eisley Saloon scene in “Star Wars: The Musical” when the entire company sings and dances and does that hand jive after Han Solo kills Greedo.

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS: The paunchy, middle-aged ex-Jawa singing at a science fiction convention. The epilogue, when we see that the overweight and engagingly voluble uber-fanboy who headed the line in Westood has dropped 40 pounds and gone Hollywood. It was like opening Eddie Murphy’s fat suit from “The Nutty Professor” and finding Dr. Smith from “Lost in Space” inside.

NOTABLE: The organizer of the Chinese Theater line was an Australian, proving that we can’t even keep them from starring in our DOCUMENTARIES anymore.

BEST PART: The interview with the guy in the Jawa costume whose orange bicycle reflector eyes kept falling off.

BEST LINE: I thought I’d make a good Boba Fett.

CROWNS: 3 out of 5

Entry filed under: Documentary, Guest Review, ScotWest.

Star Woids Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (guest)

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