Oscars Menu 2013 – Great news, you guys!

February 8, 2013 at 5:53 pm Leave a comment

Excellent news this year.  It’s finally appropriate to just pick up something from the Smokehouse and call it a day in honor of ARGO.  Yes there are 8 other movies but, are they really worth cooking anything?


Quail is mentioned in LINCOLN and apparently Lincoln liked apples but since this is really just a play that was accidentally filmed, it doesn’t exactly qualify as a movie.


SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK mentions “crabby snacks and homemades” and Fire-and-Ice Cake so you can go with that.  But I don’t know what those are and Silver Linings Playbook is just a romcom with schizophrenics.


I didn’t see LIFE OF PI because it isn’t my thing but the book sounds very good.  You could have sushi, Tigers Milk bars, rice with gravy or actual pie I suppose.


ZERO DARK THIRTY has a scene where people eat ice cream cones but it’s not exactly the chocolate pie from The Help, is it?


LES MISERABLES calls for a stolen baguette joke but hopefully you remembered that from high school and didn’t have to actually sit through the movie which is ridiculous.


In AMOUR they have a frisee salad, croissants and coffee with milk but I don’t want my party guests thinking about staring into the abyss of death more than they usually do, so maybe skip it.


BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD – Hushpuppies are the first thing that come to mind and will probably go down so much better than the actual movie with it’s teenaged filmmakers who think “Benh” is short of Benjamin and a six year old who behaves “as if she’s not even acting” is something to be excited about.


Characters talk about “white cake” in DJANGO UNCHAINED.  I guess they are meant to be jokes or ironic or something because seriously it’s referred to so many times.  But I can’t make heads or tails of it and also why make your guests think about such an unpleasant copy of other unpleasant movies that were at least original.

Entry filed under: Other.

Oscars 2012 Shitty movie death march / Dessert buffet 2012 Favorite Movies and Honorable Mentions

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