Oscars 2012 Shitty movie death march / Dessert buffet

February 5, 2012 at 6:19 pm Leave a comment

It’s Oscar time and I can’t remember the last time I hated more of the Best Picture nominees.  As a result, my yearly Oscars party themed buffet is not inspired like it sometimes is.  This year the spread instead mirrors my death march through watching so many horrible movies this winter. 

I am going with a dessert buffet since it’s easier for everyone to pick up one item and a lot on the list can be picked up at the bakery or store.  It’s important this year to properly assign dishes to guests so you don’t just end up with 12 chocolate pies that no one will eat. 

 War Horse – Since I can’t think of any turnip desserts, I’d go with oat cookies or bars and maybe serve with some Devonshire cream.  I suppose Joey might have also liked carrot cake but if you have a British store near you and can get Hob Nobs and Devonshire cream, that would be awesome obviously.

 The Artist – You could do the breakfast item (parfait?) that the main character does schtick with in the scene that rips off Citizen Kane if you like your guests.  However, if you are really going for the soul of the movie, you will put some boring French cheese on a plate and add a gimmick like edible gold leaf or those silver ball cake decorations that are ultimately unpalatable, hurt your teeth and kill you slowly upon ingestion.

 The Help – Chocolate Cream Pie is the obvious choice.  No one will eat this so you don’t have to worry if it’s good or not. 

 Hugo – Croissants and milk would be really cute especially if you can get a little urchin obsessed with clocks and robots to steal them.

 Moneyball – This calls for Cracker Jack, Twinkies or some other junk food Billy Beane hoovers up in the movie.  This is a great choice to give to the guest who calls from the gas station on his way to the party and asks if anyone wants Cactus Cooler or a tall boy.

 Descendents – If you have overachieving guests, you could have them make Malasadas but ice cream is the easier and more significant food item from the movie.

 Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close – Go for New York black and white cookies and it will be the only positive thing that ever came out of this movie. 

 Tree of Life – Skillet corn bread is a down homey sort of thing I can picture on those plates at the dinner table.  It’s not easy to pick a dessert for this one.  Candy dinosaurs?  Cupcakes with butterflies? 

 Midnight in Paris – This is for you the host to buy champagne which makes for a festive party anyway.  I suggest a case per guest in order to make Billy Crystal and the horrible movies that will inevitably win awards go down easy.  If there are Harry Potter fans coming over you may need tranquilizers so be a good host and plan ahead.

Entry filed under: Other.

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