Dazed and Confused (guest)

May 11, 2011 at 11:15 am Leave a comment

MOVIE:  Dazed and Confused

GUEST:  XGirl2000

NUTSHELL:  Teens smoke pot, drink beer and cruise around Austin, Texas, looking for a party on the last day of high school, 1976.

GOOD THINGS:  Wiley Wiggins as awkward teenage boy, Parker Posey sending up the high school bitch, a pre-irritating Ben Affleck playing a fat bully, and especially Matthew McConaughey. He is so fab in this movie, that I’ll forever forgive him for all the crap he’s done since.

BAD THINGS:  Absolutely nothing. I worship this film.

FEATURES:  Everyone is in this movie – McConaughey, Posey, Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Anthony Rapp, Milla Jovovich, the London brother who wasn’t on Party of Five, Cole Hauser, Adam Goldberg, Rory Cochrane (who is suprisingly playing a forensic scientist on the Miami CSI – who would’ve thunk it!). Apparently, even Renee Zellweger is in this flick, but I’ve seen it about 900 times and, even though she’s in the credits, I still can’t find her anywhere.

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  The keg delivery getting squelched. Parents answering the door to partygoers who don’t know the party’s off. Adam Goldberg picking a fight with Nicky Katt, getting beat up, then crying about it.

NOTABLE:  A movie so much like my high school experience (sans Texas and the hazing) it scares me. In fact, I once went out with a guy who was just like Wooderson. Thanks to his prediliction for young high school girls, he earned the nickname Joven, Spanish for “yo

BEST PART:  Everything – driving around town aimlessly, as you search for the next party spot, the bitchin’ Camero cruising into the school parking lot to the opening chords of “Sweet Emotion,” Wiley Wiggins buying beer, Parker Posey, and Wooderson, Wooderson, Wooderson. Really, what the f-happened to Matthew McConaughey after this movie? Someone please give him some career guidance.

BEST LINE:  There are so many, it’s hard to pick one, so here are a few: Simmone – “Fry you little piggies, fry!” Darla – “OK all you freshman bitches!” Wooderson – “That’s what I love these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” Wooderson – “There’s a new fiesta in the making as we speak.” Wooderson – “I love them redheads…” Wooderson to Mitch – “Say man, you got a joint?” “No, not on me man.” “Well, it’d be a lot cooler if you did…” Darla – “Miss Hotstuff, I’m going to make the next year of your life a living hell. Lick me! All of you!”

CROWNS:  5 out of 5

Entry filed under: Guest Review, XGirl.

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