The Mummy Returns

January 15, 2010 at 10:18 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE:  The Mummy Returns

NUTSHELL:  The Mummy except they find out the lady was Nefertiti in a past life so she has cleavage and Nosferatu eye makeup.

GOOD THINGS:  Brendan Fraser, John Hannah, those irridescent bugs that eat the bad people, cute kid

BAD THINGS:  Animatronic “The Rock” as the animatronic “The Scorpion King” looks like something from Final Fantasy.

FEATURES:  Freddie Boath as Short Round, “The Rock” as the “Scorpion King” (hahaahahaha!!!), Rachel Weisz, wacky black balloon pilot sidekick, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr, Patricia Velazquez

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  The growing feeling that this might be the exact same movie as The Mummy and somehow you are all the way across town at the third run movie theater and how will you find your car then, HUH?

NOTABLE:  Girl sword fights allow viewers to pretend they’re watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for a while.

BEST PART:  John Hannah.  More John Hannah Please.

BEST LINE:  Not bad – for a magi.

CROWNS:  3 out of 5


Entry filed under: Firebaton review.

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