Rush Hour 2

January 15, 2010 at 10:51 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE:  Rush Hour 2

NUTSHELL:  Rush Hour but with chick fighting and instead of “War” they sing “California Girls”

GOOD THINGS:  Jackie Chan doing the Jackie Chan thing, Chris Tucker doing the Chris Tucker thing, Zhang Ziyi doing what I guess is the Zhang Ziyi thing, my boyfriend Don Cheadle kung fu fighting, my new girlfriend Roselyn Sanchez who is like a good cross between Sandra Bullock and Salma Hayek

BAD THINGS:  Jeremy Piven doing a gay Versace clerk thing, Alan King doing a “I am an evil rich Jew” thing

FEATURES:  John Lone, Chris Penn apparently according to the credits but where was he? bloopers reel at the end so everyone walks out happy no matter the quality of the movie, an ad with a really big fortune cookie that sort of scares me, kung fu fighting in a spa (finally a movie for me)

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  Everyone in the theater I was in laughing at the jokes in Chinese except ME!

NOTABLE:  Continues trend of sequels being exactly the same as the original only with chick fighting. (Please reference “Mummy Returns.”)

BEST PART:  Chris Tucker doing the Michael Jackson knee thing during karaoke. Jackie Chan sadly doing the cabbage patch driving. Can’t get enough of that all-dancing, all-singing Chan.

BEST LINE:  “That’s supposed to scare me? I’m from Los Angeles. We invented gangs.” and “Never touch a Chinese man’s CDs!”

CROWNS:  3 out of 5

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Entry filed under: Firebaton review.

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