Pearl Harbor

January 15, 2010 at 11:07 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE:  Pearl Harbor

NUTSHELL:  10% 30 seconds over Tokyo 10% Titanic 10% Jules and Jim 10% China Beach 10% Top Gun 10% Tora! Tora! Tora! 10% Saving Private Ryan 5% Alfred Eisenstadt Photos 10% Big Wednesday 10% 13 Days 5% Cereal Commercial

GOOD THINGS:  Cuba Gooding Jr., Production Design, Cinematography, Effects, Costumes, Hair, RC Cola

BAD THINGS:  What the hell kind of a name is “Rafe McCawley”? Anything remotely related to actual history would have been nice. Expositional Japanese – feh.

FEATURES:  Ben Affleck, Spud, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett, Alec Baldwin, Jon Voight, James “Large Neck Tattoo Thanks For Asking” King, Dan Ackroyd, Mako, and Tom Sizemore as “Earl”

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  Ben Affleck with a Tennessee accent and frosted hair. Ouch.

NOTABLE:  Off-center pilot named Goose which every movie including men flying planes must include, Crusty mechanic named Earl which ever movie including men in general must include, Anyone who can explain the Purple Heart thing at the end with the nurses, please email me.

BEST PART:  Well it looks amazing. But it looks amazing for 3 hours. Cuba Gooding is amazing. But he’s amazing for about 3 minutes of screen time.

BEST LINE:  I got a girlfriend

CROWNS:  4 out of 5

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Entry filed under: Firebaton review.

The Rookie One Hour Photo

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