January 15, 2010 at 8:43 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE:  Bandits

NUTSHELL:  Two convicts escape from prison, rob banks, and fall for the most annoying, movie-derailing female character since Melanie Hamilton.

GOOD THINGS:  Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, some funny stuff

BAD THINGS:  Cate Blanchett being the most annoying on-screen presence of the year, Bruce Willis in yet another hideous wig, terrible and distracting production design, quest for degenerate hippie girl, mind-numbing 80’s chick rock

FEATURES:  Troy Garity, Cate Blanchett, January Jones, Azura Skye, the lovely and talented Richard Riehle, Micole Mecurio, Scott Burkholder, Neil Young “After the Goldrush” jokes, two two two Willis kids doing schtick

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  Shaking fist at the heavens that Bobby Slayton isn’t mute

NOTABLE:  Astronomically bad production design continually draws you out of the movie as you wonder why two earthy, on the run convicts dress like they’re on their way to a Cat Power show after dropping a few thousand dollars at Fred Segal. Some old fag’s idea of what real people would look cool in. Hippie girls in shawls and boots hitchhiking on the highway??? Really. ICK.

BEST PART:  Yet another movie with yet another yummy cherry Nova.

BEST LINE:  The suspects are in a stand off with themselves.

CROWNS:  2 out of 5

Entry filed under: Firebaton review.

The Big Heat A Beautiful Mind

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