X-Men

January 13, 2010 at 11:43 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE:  X-Men

NUTSHELL:  X-position men

GOOD THINGS:  As soon as you realize it’s never going to make sense to you, it ends.

BAD THINGS:  Where is GAMBIT?

FEATURES:  Halle “she was just here” Berry, Ian McKellen, Patrick “alt.sex.bald-captains” Stewart, Anna Paquin, Bruce Davison

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  The Wolverine guy. Ew.

NOTABLE:  Is that rare film that hires a superdupermodel just to cover her in latex, paint and fake contacts.

BEST PART:  Foosball-playing, happy-go-lucky mutant interlude

BEST LINE:  You’re a dick.

CROWNS:  2 out of 5


 

Entry filed under: Firebaton review.

The Curse of the Golden Flower Bob Le Flambeur

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