The Great Escape (guest)

MOVIE: The Great Escape

GUEST: Lisa from Zuma

NUTSHELL: Stupid Nazis unwittingly imprison the craftiest Allied escape artists in Stalag Luft North, only to witness the largest and most effective mass breakout of POWs in military history. Based on a true story. Show is stolen by Steve McQueen as Captain Virgil Hilts, “The Cooler King.”

GOOD THINGS: Steve Fucking McQueen, man! Steve plays baseball, Steve rags on the Germans, Steve does a Super Bowl of Motocross on the 1944 German landscape. Steve! Steve! STEVE!!!! Steve stomps major ass in this epic. Oh, and Elmer Bernstein’s music is rather dandy.

BAD THINGS: Donald Pleasence losing his sight. Charles Bronson’s accent. Hello? Peru was an Ally? Steve Fucking McQueen getting recaptured. (This would have never happened in real life.)

FEATURES: Crack performances from Jimbo Garner, James Donald, James Coburn, and Richard Attenborough. Oh, and Steve Fucking McQueen.

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS: McQueen can’t get that frigging BMW over a dairy fence.

NOTABLE: More than 600 American and British officers spent the better part of a year planning this March 1944 run for the roses. About 100 of them made it, none, sadly, via motorcycle.

BEST PART: Are you nuts? Steve Fucking McQueen haulin’ booty on his stolen scooter.

BEST LINE: One has to ask for some very strange favors in the job I have.

CROWNS: 5 out of 5 shovels