Gone in 60 Seconds (guest)

January 13, 2010 at 12:29 am 1 comment

MOVIE: Gone in 60 Seconds

GUEST: Christopher Watkins

NUTSHELL: A criminal comes out of “criminal retirement” to bail out his criminal little brother. He’s joined by a band of rag-tag criminals to come up with I dunno… a thousand cars in an hour or something, to give to the truly evil criminal.

GOOD THINGS: Angelina Jolie’s lips. Great cars. Giovanni Ribisi.

BAD THINGS: Making a bunch of criminals into heroes. A villan with a soft spot in his heart for – this is not a joke – handmade wooden furniture. Nicolas Cage is a horrible shadow of his former self. Bad car chases, typical characters (wise cop with smartass partner, crafty ol’ Robert Duvall, a typically stupid villan who had an accent for no reason, and, I reiterate, an affinity for HAND-MADE WOODEN FURNITURE.

FEATURES: Cage, Duvall, Jolie, Tim Olyphant, Ribisi, really nice cars.

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS: Nicolas Cage mugging for the camera, being Nicolas Cage. Cage not being a character, but a stupid caricature of himself. All were ‘discomforting’ I suppose…
Also, when Jolie is revealed from working under a car doing things that only fat greasy ugly fat greasy guys do.

NOTABLE: I’m a man. I like cool cars. I like hot women. There was a scene where the frighteningly beautiful AJolie straddles a stickshift in a great car… should have been sexy, but it was just stupid. Probably because Cage was on the receiving end.

BEST PART: I just can’t get enough Jolie. Her being sexy somewhere.

BEST LINE: Don’t touch that!! — something like that when the furniture loving villan tries to protect his masterwork. Really highlights how stupid that character was.

CROWNS: 1 out of 5

Entry filed under: Christopher Watkins, Guest Review.

The Gift (guest) The Great Escape (guest)

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Contactless  |  December 21, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    I’m partial to a bit of Walken too, not least his efforts in The Dead Zone. Bubble lips is also a hit, so this movie should have been great – right? Well, for all those reasons that you’ve already intimated – it sadly misses the ‘wow factor’ again, and again.

    That said, Gone in 60 seconds has made its mark. Let me explain…

    It’s the stuff of movies. A criminal gang that sets out to steal hundreds of cars, each in under 60 seconds, using the latest in high-tech gadgets to facilitate their heist.

    But for David Beckham, Hollywood fiction became a reality when in April 2006 criminals used a simple laptop and RFID scanner to crack the electronic door locks of his BMW X5. Once the locks were cracked they then fired up the ignition and drove away – gone in just 15 minutes! The full story can be found here:


    Anyway, enjoyed your post – keep up the good work.


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