The Bourne Identity (guest)

January 12, 2010 at 11:13 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE:  The Bourne Identity

GUEST:  Pink

NUTSHELL:  Man has no idea who he is or why he can kick ass.

GOOD THINGS:  The action parts were entertaining. Franka Potente rocks.

BAD THINGS:  The movie waves at the book for a second then goes off into “What the fuck?” land really fast. Tony Gilroy, the shithead writer. Yeah, Tony, you suck (but not for the first time, ya butcher).

FEATURES:  Car chases, kicking ass, mini love story

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS:  Me growling loud enough to get “shhhhhed!” at a certian part that deviates from the entire idea/concept of the original books so badly that I am almost personally offended by it. Ludlum must be spinning in his fresh grave.

NOTABLE:  They didn’t leave much there for a sequel, unlike the books. There are three of them, yanno. Sadly, the movie is so unlike the books it just is not possible to keep up what would have been a great series of movies. Fuckers.

BEST PART:  Bourne trying to get Marie to take him for a drive. Cute scene.

BEST LINE:  We got a bump coming up.

CROWNS:  3 out of 5

Entry filed under: Guest Review, Pink.

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