Blade II (guest)

January 12, 2010 at 11:11 pm Leave a comment

MOVIE: Blade II

GUEST: Nathan Arizona

NUTSHELL: Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Shaft! Only more bad-assed!

GOOD THINGS: Wesley Snipes, Leonor Varela, lots of asskicking, and gory gross vampires that are so mean, they even eat other vampires.(!)

BAD THINGS: Blade’s hip hop, wisecracking, weapons-expert sidekick. Insufficient explanation for resurrecting Kris Kristofferson’s character from the first movie (am I asking too much of a movie based on a comic book?). But at least his wisecracking, weapons-expert character is better than the guy mentioned above.

FEATURES: Bloodsucking, neckchomping, eviscerating… disintegrations, explosions, decapitations, even trepannation! Veteran character actor Ron Perlman, Wesley Snipes being an all-around badass muthaf– (Shut yo’ mouth!) But I’m just talkin’ ’bout Blade! We can dig it!

UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS: There was some weird shit going on at the vampire safe house/disco. Yikes!

NOTABLE: All the people in the theater who brought their kids to the film. Not teenagers, either – I’m talking kids under 6. HELLO? The movie is rated R for a reason. Christ!

BEST PART: All the fight scenes, and the part where you see why the Reapers have the same scar on their chins. (Another reason not to bring SIX YEAR OLDS to the film.)

BEST LINE: I was just beginning to like him!

CROWNS: 5 out of 5

Entry filed under: Guest Review, Nathan Arizona.

Birdy The Bourne Identity (guest)

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